RESOURCES
If you’re looking for practical tools you can use right away, here are some guides, frameworks, and downloadable supports created specifically for parents and educators.
Not sure where to start? This fundamentals guide outlines the basic information needed to understand the Enneagram, and how to use it to support autistic children.
The Basics + Autistic Nuance
The Enneagram & Autism
The Enneagram Guide To SUpporting DYSREGULATION
Dysregulation is the consistent struggle autistics navigate, no matter what their triggers. This guide provides insight into what each autistic enneagram type might face as triggers, while identifying tailored supports and accommodations to help in achieving regulation again.
Understanding Through Motivation
PATHWAYS TO CONNECTION
For autistic children—who experience stress more frequently and intensely—stance becomes a powerful shortcut to understanding:
Why meltdowns escalate
Why reassurance sometimes backfires
Why shutdowns are often misread as refusal
When adults understand stance, they stop reacting to behavior—and start supporting regulation. This compassionate 15-page guide helps to:
Understand stress responses without blame
Identify stance before identifying type
Choose supports that actually calm the nervous system
Reduce power struggles at home
Through Enneagram Stance Work
HOW TO USE THE ENNEAGRAM SAFELY WITH KIDS
The Enneagram is a powerful tool—but with children, power must always be held with care.
The Enneagram should never be used to:
Label or limit a child
Explain away unmet support needs
Predict outcomes or pathologize behavior
Replace clinical diagnosis or professional care
Children do not “have” an Enneagram type the way adults do. Their personalities are still forming, their nervous systems are still developing, and their environments play a massive role in how traits show up.
The Enneagram is first and foremost a tool for self-awareness—which means it belongs in the hands of adults before it is ever applied to children.
In this work, the Enneagram is used to:
Help adults reflect on their own triggers and expectations
Understand what a child may be protecting or needing
Increase compassion during moments of stress
Support regulation, not compliance
The goal is never to say, “This is who you are.”
The goal is to ask, “What might help you feel safer right now?”
When used with humility, consent, and curiosity, the Enneagram becomes a bridge—one that protects relationship, honors neurodiversity, and keeps the child’s humanity at the center of every decision.
Want to learn more about the Enneagram?
The following are incredible teachers and work I suggest if you are looking to learn more about the Enneagram!
Suzanne Stabile: The Enneagram Godmother
Tyler Zach: The Enneasummit & Type-ish
