The Enneagram & Autism | The Basics + Autism Nuance

Not sure where to start? This free fundamentals guide outlines the basic information needed to understand the Enneagram, and how to use it to support autistic children.

The 9 Types of Parents

The Enneagram describes nine distinct patterns for how people experience the world and respond when things feel like too much. Each type brings unique strengths — and unique stress responses — into parenting.


Understanding these nine parenting types can help parents of autistic children recognize why certain strategies work for some families and not others — and how to adjust support based on nervous system needs rather than behavior alone.

The 9 Enneagram Types with Autistic Nuance

Autistic individuals express Enneagram patterns in ways that may look different from traditional descriptions — and that difference matters. For example, an autistic Enneagram Type may experience stress responses more intensely, skip emotional stages entirely, or show behaviors that are often misunderstood as “out of character” for that type. These variations are not contradictions; they are adaptations shaped by neurodivergent nervous systems. Learning how each Enneagram type can uniquely express autism opens the door for more accurate teaching, better support strategies, and fewer harmful assumptions.

The Enneagram Guide to Supporting Dysregulation

Dysregulation is the consistent struggle autistics navigate, no matter what their triggers. This guide provides insight into what each autistic enneagram type might face as triggers, while identifying tailored supports and accommodations to help in achieving regulation again.

PATHWAYS TO CONNECTION: Through Enneagram Stance Work

For autistic children—who experience stress more frequently and intensely—stance becomes a powerful shortcut to understanding:

  • Why meltdowns escalate

  • Why reassurance sometimes backfires

  • Why shutdowns are often misread as refusal

When adults understand stance, they stop reacting to behavior—and start supporting regulation. This compassionate 15-page guide helps to:

  • Understand stress responses without blame

  • Identify stance before identifying type

  • Choose supports that actually calm the nervous system

  • Reduce power struggles at home